IT GEEK

' I do not fear computers, I fear the lack of them.'
- Issac Asimov

' I do not fear the lack of computers, i fear computers.'
- Joyce Lai

ITB'S DRIVING ME CRAZY

ahh crap, i think i screwed up my miec paper. to think i said i love that module. -.- i only had myself to blame cause i slept really late yesterday and i couldn't even think today. best thing was, i forgot what's surplus. its supposed to be supply more than quantity demanded but i actually chose supply more than demand. crap la. stupid brain of mine. and the graphs. ahhhhh. joyce ah joyce. -.-

now i'm actually half dead with half of my brain filled with it stuff. those ports, cpu, motherboard, expansion cards and all. i hate the chapter on software. its all about software and i have no idea why we need to study the software. its just. ughh. just went to mel and realised that iN2015 is tested. ahhhhh! i need to inject endurance into my body right now now now.

ohh and i finally saw dwayne in school today after, erm.. one mth plus. lol. k my brain isn't working that well so i think i'd better start studying again before i fall asleeeeeep. yay timbre tomorrow, i think. ahhaha. and i can't believe three quarter of my classmates are going. woohoo!

YOU'RE TERMINATED, YEAH BABY

went over to sean's place today after his macroecons paper. woo. yay, i got to eat the scramble eggs he cooks. super delicious. whee! took a nap cause i was too tired. i didn't have enough sleep because i had to wake sean up at six.

studied econs for a while and i decided that i should disturb sean and wake him up. hahah! damn funny. batman, superman, little red riding hood and dwarfs. then he played dota while i continue studying. all i heard from the game was you're terminated, yeah baby, unstoppable and alot more. i forgot. :D

then we went to watch Hannah montanah! whee! it was a super duper nice movie! but the running time was a lil' short though. it would be better if its longer. i love the songs and the countryside. this really makes me wanna move to a countryside after i retired. but hahha, still many years to come. and i wish i could be a star for a day. hannah montanah! :D

after the movie, we took a stroll at the beach. nowadays we seldom we go to the beach because sean doesn't like it. he doesn't like to perspire. but was glad, we went today. we had a super long talk about us. those stuff which i didn't had a chance to say to him in the past, i said it today. it made us realised alot of stuff. i guess, it did make things better. i really hope things would stay the same and nothing would ever change.

You tucked me in
Turned out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away

SO TIRED OF TEARS

SO TIRED OF TEARS

just when i thought i'm tired of tears, i thought wrong. i don't even drink much water and i wonder why i've so much tears. stupid sore eyes, it makes my eyes so red and teary. like some disgusting Dracula's eyes. sheeesh.

stop reading, its all whinings.

come to think of it, i've become some emo shit this year. i cry over the smallest thing on earth. i wonder whatever happened to the joyce i was. the bubbly and carefree girl my classmates always refer me to. but you can't expect me to smile and laugh when everything seems so wrong because i'm not that strong. eh, it rhymes. hahaha. maybe i should just believe that since i can't change the things that's happening, i should change myself. but fff that, seriously. i don't feel happy understanding it.

right now, i'm so tired of everything. i'm tired of trying when the outcome stays the same. i'm so that tired i can't be bothered to ask, to get angry or sad anymore. i really feel like giving up because i see no motivation and assurance in continuing anymore. i hate to grow up. i hate how things changed when we grow up. i wish words like adaptability, determination and confidence didn't have to exist so that life wouldn't have to revolve around those. why do people have to say, ' life isn't always a bed of roses' why oh why. why am i always asking why. -.-

knowing that everything we do we need motivation and assurance, pretty much sucks. oh and that's something i learnt from bmgt. lol. we need motivation in our daily lives to carry out the daily routines for years and years. we need motivation in our studies so that we can do well. we need assurance in relationship to continue giving in to each other. just like what people say, love has an expiry date, we need to renew it to stay in love for as long as possible. almost every single thing we do, we need motivation. now it seems so true.

i don't even know why i am whining here when i'm supposed to study for my econs and itb. fuck it. ahhh, just ignore me and treat it as i'm having a super bad day. i just need to whine and i'll be back to normal. i wanna go to the beach. i wanna hear the rustling of leaves, the seawaves, the sound made by crickets, the laughter of those kids at the playground.

SAD.

of all these times, i could only remember something.

' everything happens for a reason and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'

SEVENTH

studied a bit in the afternoon then met puay joo. had teppanyaki for dinner. what could be better than this. :D its been a long long time since i last ate it and she seems to be the only person who would eat that with me. lol. bought some yummaye macaroons but ah, i went late so only left the pistachio flavoured one. but nevemind, at least i get to eat it. :D happy happy.

then we took a shuttle bus to ikea cause i wanted to eat the soft ice cream. but guess what. crap, the ice cream doesn't taste as nice anymore. it tasted diluted, hahah ikea saving costs on ice cream. lol. then she came to my house. had a good time catching up with her. hmm, i think its been a month or three weeks since we last met la. it feels oh so familiar to be talking to her about everything under the sun again. :D

LEAN IT BACK, CLAP THREE TIMES

woke up really early in the morning for poa paper. and i think i must get an alarm clock for sean by sunday else he won't be able to wake up for his upcoming papers. stupid pig. ahhh, wanted to have the ljs's breakfast but we didn't have enough time. although their food aint that nice, their breakfast definitely brightens up my morning. their sandwiches are super nice.

k, the poa paper wasn't that bad. in fact, i wasn't really as nervous as i thought i would be. when i sat down, hoedown throwdown was playing in my head on repeat mode. makes me wanna dance while sitting down. hahahah. everything was okay except for my general ledger. ughh, stupid. i should have realised that one sentence isn't worth five marks. joyce the dumbass. and i can't believe i'm an accounting student now. lol.

went home and slept for seven hours. whee! it feels so nice to have sufficient sleep . i barely had three hours of sleep yesterday. and today, while being seated at the convention centre, it feels like i'm in secondary school again. memories. ahhh, five years. sometimes it just feels good reminiscing about the past, we've all been through the good and bad times knowingly and ever so quickly. yay and i heard from sean, yong jian is gonna plan a gathering again after our common test week! :D

econs and itb papers coming up next, i'd better start revising for it soon. itb = shit stuff. econs = practical and interesting and lovely module. :D

that's no explaining how i feel inside
i'm going through a transformation
that's so hard for me to hide
i had a revelation
that finally opened up my eyes
the one i spent a life time searching for
was right here with me all the time