MY FAITH IS SHAKING

alright, so today's been really busy. packing my stuff, bringing it here and there. tiring man. ah, staying there feels like being stranded on an island because i don't know how to get out of that place. i'm still dreading it, terribly. though its just a highway away from pasir ris, but still :(

today feels lonely. i was all alone. and that got me missing my ex classmates alot. i know its time things get better but i miss the fun i had with them. the laughter, nonsense and all. everyday when i stepped into the classroom, either alvin or emyza will kick start their nonsense. and that's enough to make my day. i miss being in school, at least i'll always be laughing and having fun. nothing could ever replace those memorable times we had.

then it got me missing sean. going out during free period to get food at the canteen, going to com lab for fnn together, walking back to classroom from the hall and stuff. at least, i get to see him everyday. things are so much different now. i mean i don't want to keep talking about this, like missing him alot and stuff but i really miss him alot. after talking to him that day, i kind of have a different feeling about it. i'm starting to not show my feelings anymore. but as i said, i don't wanna lose this in the relationship. because i know certain words and some sweet nothings could bring wonders to the relationship.

sometimes i wish i had male character in me. i wish i don't miss a person that much, perhaps it would not get me so upset at times. i wish i am much much stronger. i guess i had enough of it. instead of making myself so unhappy, i'd rather think positively and let nature takes its course. its been a while and its super draining.