SO TIRED OF TEARS

SO TIRED OF TEARS

just when i thought i'm tired of tears, i thought wrong. i don't even drink much water and i wonder why i've so much tears. stupid sore eyes, it makes my eyes so red and teary. like some disgusting Dracula's eyes. sheeesh.

stop reading, its all whinings.

come to think of it, i've become some emo shit this year. i cry over the smallest thing on earth. i wonder whatever happened to the joyce i was. the bubbly and carefree girl my classmates always refer me to. but you can't expect me to smile and laugh when everything seems so wrong because i'm not that strong. eh, it rhymes. hahaha. maybe i should just believe that since i can't change the things that's happening, i should change myself. but fff that, seriously. i don't feel happy understanding it.

right now, i'm so tired of everything. i'm tired of trying when the outcome stays the same. i'm so that tired i can't be bothered to ask, to get angry or sad anymore. i really feel like giving up because i see no motivation and assurance in continuing anymore. i hate to grow up. i hate how things changed when we grow up. i wish words like adaptability, determination and confidence didn't have to exist so that life wouldn't have to revolve around those. why do people have to say, ' life isn't always a bed of roses' why oh why. why am i always asking why. -.-

knowing that everything we do we need motivation and assurance, pretty much sucks. oh and that's something i learnt from bmgt. lol. we need motivation in our daily lives to carry out the daily routines for years and years. we need motivation in our studies so that we can do well. we need assurance in relationship to continue giving in to each other. just like what people say, love has an expiry date, we need to renew it to stay in love for as long as possible. almost every single thing we do, we need motivation. now it seems so true.

i don't even know why i am whining here when i'm supposed to study for my econs and itb. fuck it. ahhh, just ignore me and treat it as i'm having a super bad day. i just need to whine and i'll be back to normal. i wanna go to the beach. i wanna hear the rustling of leaves, the seawaves, the sound made by crickets, the laughter of those kids at the playground.